catsilovecats
The first time i tried eating a girl out, i was going at it, and then i looked up at her, and it was then i realized it wasnt a girl at all, or even a human. It was a seven foot tall sunflower. i stopped licking its stem and sprinted through a nearby cornfield in embarrassment. the owner of the farm was certainly pretty cross with me for that one. One day i will find out what a girls vagina looks like
Me + Mario (his first Halloween!)
Halloween 2011
Some of the best Colin moments.
Drew: Ryan and Colin are gonna pretend to be commercial TV pitch guys they’re gonna make up titles of songs and then they give the title to Brad and Chip here… *everyone reacts* What?
Ryan: Brad showed up?
Drew: Oh, I’m sorry.
Ryan: Hey, Clive’s allowed to make mistakes.
Drew: I’m sorry, Greg.Great banter in the beginning, Episode 7x08
(Source: starlitskyandyouandme)
“Bad Stand-Up Comic”
Colin: Well, it seems all the fish in the rivers are dying. Could this be an act of cod?
Colin: Some people think it’s because of the hefty rains lately. It was raining cats and dogs, I stepped into a poodle.
(Source: lskywalkers, via fuckyeahwhoseline)
A classic! Submitted by sneevley
“Texas Governor Rick Perry said he will introduce emergency legislation requiring women seeking abortions to first get a sonogram of the fetus and listen to a recording of the heartbeat. Why? Well when someone has all the information, according to Perry, “the right choice will be made — the choice for life.” I find it funny how universal health care is big government gone bad, but somehow the government crawling up my uterus and telling me what choice to make isn’t. Odd how giving patients information about end of life options is a “death squad for Grandma” but sonograms before abortions are simply souvenirs for the family photo album. Rick Perry is a jackass. Did it ever occur to you Governor Jackass that some of those women who you plan to force to have a sonogram and listen for a heartbeat are young girls who have been abused… young women who are devastated that a wanted pregnancy has gone bad… poor women who just can’t afford to feed another mouth… scared women who have been raped… and even regular ‘ole women who made peace with their God and don’t need to hear from yours? Governor, please take your big hair to church as often as you like. Get down on your knees and pray to your God everyday. Join the choir and sing his praises until the cows come home. Get it all out of your system so that when you walk into that Capitol building you are a little less inclined to blur the line between religion and politics and force your narrow-minded, black and white version of right and wrong on millions of people who just maybe – maybe - don’t agree with you and your backward ass group of right-wing zealots.”
Margaret and Helen (via thetart)
Fucking Rick Perry
(via -radiowire)
(via -radiowire)
“The Muslim world does not see us as we see ourselves. Muslims are aware, while we are not, that we have murdered tens of thousands of Muslims in Iraq, Afghanistan and Pakistan. We have terrorized families, villages and nations. We enable and defend the Israeli war crimes carried out against Palestinians and the Lebanese—indeed we give the Israelis the weapons and military aid to carry out the slaughter. We dismiss the thousands of dead as “collateral damage.” And when those who are fighting against occupation kill us or Israelis we condemn them, regardless of context, as terrorists. Our hypocrisy is recognized on the Arab street. Most Arabs see bloody and disturbing images every day from the wars in Iraq and Afghanistan, images that are censored on our television screens. They have grown sick of us. They have grown sick of the Arab regimes that pay lip service to the suffering of Palestinians but do nothing to intervene. They have grown sick of being ruled by tyrants who are funded and supported by Washington. Arabs understand that we, like the Israelis, primarily speak to the Muslim world in the crude language of power and violence. And because of our entrancement with our own power and ability to project force, we are woefully out of touch. Israeli and American intelligence services did not foresee the popular uprising in Tunisia or Egypt. Gen. Aviv Kochavi, Israel’s new intelligence chief, told Knesset members last Tuesday that “there is no concern at the moment about the stability of the Egyptian government.” Tuesday, it turned out, was the day hundreds of thousands of Egyptians poured into the streets to begin their nationwide protests.”
Chris Hedges (via azspot)
(via -radiowire)
30 Days of Harry Potter
So I’m just gonna go ahead and answer this all in one post. I’m not even going to bother finishing the other 30 day challenge because I have nothing left to say. I’m pretty boring.
Day 1 Your fave book.
Probs Deathly Hallows, to be honest.
Day 2 Your fave movie.
I’m gonna have to go with Prisoner of Azkaban.
Day 3 Is there any of the films adaptations that have made you angry because they’ve ignored important parts of the book.
ALL OF THEM. The movies really bother me.
Day 4 Least fave female character and why.
Moaning Fucking Myrtle.
Day 5 Fave male character and why.
This is really difficult… I don’t really have a favorite. Of course Snape is high up there, for obvious reasons. Draco for somewhat similar reasons. Ron because he’s a silly teddy bear with a heart of gold. Neville, obviously.
Day 6 What house would you want to be in.
GRYFFINDOR
Day 7 Fave female character and why.
Again, don’t exactly have a favorite, although I kind of almost have to say Hermione. I also love both Molly and Ginny.
Day 8 What do you think would be your fave lesson.
Charms? I’m lazy. I’d like to be able to make things fly to me.
Day 9 Least fave male character.
I really don’t know why people had a soft spot for Percy. Percy’s a jerk. Fuck Percy.
Day 10 Horcruxes or Hallows.
It would be wise to say neither, but obviously Hallows.
Day 11 What character would you say you are most like.
I’m kind of like a lazier Hermione?
Day 12 Fave ship.
Tie between Harry/Ginny and Ron/Hermione. Right now I’m more Ron/Hermione. They make me feel warm and fuzzy.
Day 13 Least fave movie.
Oh I don’t know maybe the one where Harry and Hermione dance in a tent for like an hour
Day 14 Team Voldermort or Team Harry.
Really?
Day 15 Who would be your best friends at hogwarts. (three only)
Fred George Ginny. Bam.
Day 17 Are you excited about The Deathly Hallows movie or scared it won’t do the book justice.
I was disappointed.
Day 18 Least fave book.
See… this is hard. I love all the books. I could say the first because it wasn’t written as well as the others, but I have such an emotional attachment to the first book. I could say the fourth because of the goddamn Triwizard Tournament. But I loved every minute of the series and can’t choose a “least fave.”
Day 19 Do you prefer the books or films.
Anyone who says they prefer the films hasn’t read the books.
Day 20 If you had to meet one member of the cast, who would it be.
Hhnnnnngggghh this is impossible. It’s such a fantastic cast. The first person I thought of was Emma Watson, but then there’s Alan Rickman, Gary Oldman, Maggie Smith… It’s just impossible.
Day 21 Out of all the characters that died, if you could bring one back, who would it be.
Fred, absolutely Fred. Fred’s death broke my heart. It physically hurt me. Dumbledore was old, Lupin was tragic as well, but Fred was just a boy. And he was a <i>twin.</i>
Day 22 Harry Potter or Twilight
“Harry Potter is about confronting fears, finding inner strength and doing what is right in the face of adversity. Twilight is about how important it is to have a boyfriend.”
― Stephen King
Day 23 Any part of the books/movies that makes you cry.
FRED. I shed a tear at Dumbledore’s funeral, but when Fred died, I threw my book down and sobbed for a good ten minutes.
Day 24 Any particular scene you wished would have been put in the movie but it wasn’t.
Soooooo many. The movies infuriate me. It’s one thing to take out scenes, but to take out scenes and then put in new ones? Ridiculous. A few off the top of my head: S.P.E.W., more Neville background story, DUDLEY SAYING GOODBYE, Half-Blood Prince explanation, revealing the Marauders, and just that they totally fucked up Harry and Ginny’s chemistry and kisses.
Day 25 Nineteen years later. Are you happy how it turned out, or do you wish something was different, ie Neville married Luna.
I think she ended it perfectly. I wouldn’t have named my kid Albus Severus, or Scorpius, but I actually liked the epilogue and I wouldn’t change a thing.
Day 26 If you could be able to work one spell without a wand what would it be.
Like I said, Accio would be handy because I’m a lazy slob.
Day 27 Would you rather own The Invisibility Cloak, The Resurrection Stone or The Elder Wand.
Maybe invisibility cloak… but probably elder wand.
Day 28 Do you listen to Wizard Wrock, what do you think about it.
All I know is that In Which Draco And Harry Secretly Want To Make Out is wondrous.
Day 29 Did you enjoy A Very Potter Musical.
Haven’t seen it.
Day 30 What affect has Harry Potter made on your life and how much does it mean to you.
I mean… I grew up with it. It taught me valuable life lessons. I fell in love with it. It’ll stay with me forever.
“I know older men in comedy who can barely feed and clean themselves, and they still work. The women, though, they’re all “crazy.” I have a suspicion - and hear me out, because this is a rough one - that the definition of “crazy” in show business is a woman who keeps talking even after no one wants to fuck her anymore.”
Tina Fey in this week’s New Yorker. (via djjazzystef)
(Source: fatmanatee, via -radiowire)
This question keeps me awake all night, tossing and turning. Why, why, has America been so cruel to white males? They ask for so little. And what do they get?
Well, besides everything.
matriarchy is such a bitch, sorry guys.
Why isn’t an organization that has, historically, been ALL WHITE MEN seeking any more white men to join their ranks??
(via -radiowire)
(via -radiowire)
